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March 6th, 2010

03:01 am - Big Step Backwards

Background Information:
Seeing each other for 5 weeks, Official for 1 week and counting.
I was the first person to befriend Gage in Amarillo, Tx.
Gage moved to Amarillo in January to try and get his life on Track.
We say, "I Love You"
He is Scared to get his heart broken again
His romantic feelings for me grow each day.

Here's the Story:
  I take him to meet Stanley Marsh 3 and the boys in the Croquet Court because I know that's a fitting scene for him. Of course he hits it off with all the guys and SM3 sure seemed to like him-keep Gage in his office for and hour and a half. Things go so well Gage gets invited to the Hot Tub Party at 5p. I have to take my other passenger, Dylan,  to band practice at 5 in Canyon, TX. Tyler Morgan offers to give Gage a ride to the HT Party. We say our Good-Byes and I tell him, "Call me If you leave before I get there".
  After Band practice I rush back to Amarillo, to Toad Hall-No One Is There.
So I call:
1. JoJoe-Disconnected  2. Eric-JoJoe said Gage left with Tyler  3. Tyler- Said Gage left with Colby
4. Colby-Said he left Gage with some Jon that nobody knows  5. Jon-I talk to Gage. This is our conversation:
Cacy "Gage, Ive been calling everybody try to find you, Honey. I asked you to call me if you left"
Gage"Oh...." (Obviously fucked-up by his voice)
Cacy "So do you want to hang out before work?"
Gage"Uhh...well...yeah but it will have to be after 930pm-I'm super fucking baked"
Cacy "I go to work at 9pm"
Cacy "Well I guess that's a no then, It's 7:30p. Gage Please just call me so I know you got home safe"

2 Hours Later
    I receive a call from Gage's Grandmother. "Did I misunderstand you, I thought you said you would have him home before 9pm"  My Response-trying not have hate in my voice-"He decided he was going to go with a friend and told them that it he can stay out till 11pm. I tried to get him to come with me. I'm sorry."  End of Convo.
   I texted Jon- "Please tell Gage his Grandmother called me"
   He Texted back- "I have no idea where he is and I do not know how to get ahold of him"
                          "Where did you leave him? Or with whom?"
                                  "I don't Know"
                           "You lost a Human? Lol"
Errie Part of the Story- "BTW, everyone I've been calling to find him has no idea who you are-is it jon or tom? I really couldn't understand Colby. What is your name Sir?"
                                           "yo i let some guy use my phone and i read those messages and I don't know what is going on. I can not help you"
So I decided to text Colby at 11:16p:
"The dude you left Gage with Lost Gage. He was supposed to be home at 9. Any leads for me, I'm Freaking out"
    I was balling my eyes out by this time, sick with worry deep inside my guttywhats.  I called my Smom. She made me feel better about it-well she got me to stop crying. At 11:35p I called Gage's Grandparents to see if he had made it home yet. He had gotten home and was asleep because he had to wake up early in order to call and get his schedule for the day. I know his grandmother heard the tears in my voice when I told her I was worried sick about him.

At 1:09a Colby Replied:
       "I took him home"
Gage was told to call me at 11 when he was found.
I Don't really know how to handle this situation. I understand he was having fun with new friends that he clicks with
But one simple call is all I asked for, when people told him to call me, when he made it home
He Refused to Call me. He caused me anxiety and to cry.
My Heart Hurts.

Current Location: Work
Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: blümchen

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July 7th, 2009

01:12 pm - Turbo 7/7/09
Working on getting a second job as a night auditor at a hotel, hopefully I will get it-I need the money badly.

Fattie finally broke up with me.
She wanted to make sure that I knew she was doing great-much better than she was with me.(her grandmother supports her on top of her income) Who wouldn't?

My ex lover, is coming into town and he is going to stay with me, in my bed-in my room-in the House I pay rent for. I'm so excited he is coming back, I can't wait to be with him again.

I still don't have a car-nor can I afford one right now. So I suppose that will work out when it needs to. I want to look into getting my motorcycle license-since I commute a minimum of 60 miles a day. This is a financial decision as well as a personal goal.

I have a reliable ride to work and home-so I'm thankful for that.
See I live in a small town, Canyon, TX, and work in the nearest city-Amarillo, TX so having a ride to and from is a big deal!

My dad provides me with things to sell on ebay, last week I made 1/2 of my rent and only half the items sold! The only problem with ebay is that there is always the chance that the item won't sale so you're out .35 cents. I'm going to open an ebay store as soon as I have money to buy a camera and clear off my credit card-about a month or so.

Things are going very well for me right now. I'm almost content
The one thing I need to complete me is Surgery. After I am once again comfortable in my own skin it will be much easier to....be.

I should be getting information on health insurance from my primary job- Barista at Hastings- within the next 3 weeks. After that I can have the MRI necessary to show the surgeon what he needs to see, and get on the Drug Gleevec. Gleevec has been shown to slow, and in few cases reverse the growth of the tumor in NF patients.

Then start back at college, if I get the car by the time all my primary goals are achieved.

This is where I am in my life.
Current Mood: busy

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June 21st, 2009

02:32 am - he pierced his tounge for me?
I'm excited, This is why:
So I'm talking to the guy that works in Video, I saw that he pierced his tongue since I last worked with him, I asked him
"Now why in the world would you get your tongue pierced"

he replied with a crooked grin,
"well for a number of reasons"

"..and all those reasons would be?"

He smiled and a blush came over his cheeks.
"I don't have a girlfriend right now so I don't use it"


I said to him in complete amazement ,"Do you know how rare you are? Its hard enough to find a guy to do that"

He smiled, then the old guy from books walked over and we had to cease our conversation.

In my experience, Tongue piercings really don't make a difference.


Maybe he Knows how to better put it to work than she did.

Now I'm excited.
Current Location: Hastings, Amarillo, TX
Current Mood: Aroused
Current Music: MGMT

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June 4th, 2009

02:14 pm - Common Courtesy
Sex Partners Past and Present:
Please don't be a "Pillow Princess" especially if I am the one fucking you you should at least have your finger in my twat so that I can also feel something. If all I am doing is giving you an orgasm and you feel it is kosher to just lay there like a blob of human flesh, then I need something to make it worth it for me. Please do not bullshit me and say that it should give me pleasure to pleasure you- It does not, Only if I have a finger, tounge, or dick in my vagina am I getting any pleas
Mister Smith:
When you come over to my House, feeling the need to cum in my mouth; Please allow me to do the same to you.
It is simply a matter of common courtesy.

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June 2nd, 2009

03:18 pm - Arrggg!
Arge I got sucked back into the Panhandle.

Not a Great Thing But and ok thing.

I miss my GirlFriends out in LongBeach
Current Location: Canyon, TX
Current Mood: coldcold

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April 27th, 2009

12:23 am - Feelin Lonely
what-or who is a sexier man than this?
Aside from Jimmy Whittenburg.

cam gigandet Pictures, Images and Photos

OMG! This boy is my newest and hottest hetero-crush ever. I saw him in the piss excuse for a movie "who's your caddy" mmmmmm he was a good lookin caddy too.

Then I noticed that I had the same feelings for him as I did for James in the movie "Twilight". (who happend to look exactly like my dear old Jimmy Whittenburg)

James Pictures, Images and Photos

Oh my goodness! He's got the early 90's rock/grunge style down!

Cam Gigandet Please come to my house-I live in Long Beach, CA.
be james, be yourself, be a caddy, be a murderer-Just come over! I want to meet you so I can get over you already!

I miss Jimmy. I have missed him since the last time we spoke on the phone.
Current Mood: lonelylonely

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April 16th, 2009

09:49 am - Want and Need
I want to learn Russian.
I need to get a full time job.
I need to write a letter to my Surgeon, and a few special girls.
I need money for rent!
I need to get back into school.
Current Location: Home

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March 2nd, 2009

07:04 pm - New Job!!
Ok, so I have been super busy, working my new job. Hostess at Georges Greek Cafe!

I love working at this place.
I love greek food.

My job title is Hostess. Today I worked my first shift alone. Horray! I worked 11:30 to 1:30 with another hoestess, and from 1:30 to 2:30 alone!! Sure, I only set 4 tables in an hour and that hour felt like 2, but I believe I did a Swell job. There are 4 other hostess'-one is only temporary until the new school year starts, and the others only work there for 'fun money'. So, I know I'm bound to get more hours-I'm only working part time right now- and if I do well, I'm going to get more hours if I do a good job.
And I must say I'm doing a great job!
I have nightmares of losing my job that make me unable to sleep at night. Due to the NightMares I Worry about keeping my position-even though I haven't even gotten in trouble.

ugh, I need to chill out.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: 0_0

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February 20th, 2009

03:53 pm - Free Bus
Today I have an interview at 5 at a Sex Shop. I'm going to be taking the Free Bus alone. I come from a small town in Texas where there is no such thing as public Transportation so I'm not too savvy on Bus etiquette.
One Big confusion is that after a certain point (Alamitos Ave) regular bus fees apply. Isn't the "regular" bus fee for the free bus-Free? Or what if, like in my case, you get on where its free but you are riding past the point of regular fees? Do I pay, do I not pay?

I'm going to have to talk to the bus driver, I just don't understand this.

I'm taking the 4:20 bus.

Ha. Thats Fitting.
Current Mood: chipperchipper

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February 19th, 2009

10:29 pm - Dancing Child
I want a dancing child when I grow up!

I want him to be just waltz into the kitchen when I toast his Pop-Tart!


pop tart Pictures, Images and Photos
Current Mood: highhigh

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